My finger paused as I was about to post this. It’s never easy sharing something so personal publicly, but I hope that by sharing my story, it may help others on their own path.
Who Here Has an Inner Critic? Does It Have a Name?
Mine is called Pete Paranoia.
My best friend, Xan Tyler Music, has one named Vicky Vicious. She’s even written songs about it—one called Vicky, and on the flip side, a track called Mantra—which, funnily enough, ties right into this post.
Living with Pete Paranoia
Pete used to rule my headspace. A constant stream of repetitive negative chatter:
“You should’ve done this better.”
“You’re such an idiot.”
“Why can’t you talk properly to strangers?”
“You’re too fat/ugly/disgusting.”
These thoughts made me feel anxious, nervous, and unworthy of the love around me.
They wrecked my self-esteem and left me questioning my friendships. Throughout my 20s and 30s, Pete rendered me helpless—or so I thought.
Understanding the Voice
Years later, through my own coaching journey, I began to understand the function of this voice. It wasn’t my enemy—it was a scared, protective part of me, shaped by my childhood experiences.
Pete wanted to keep me “safe” by shrinking me, avoiding risk, and dodging pain. But in doing so, he was holding me back.
Reclaiming Power
Once I recognised this, everything changed.
I realised: I was in control.
I could soothe that voice instead of being controlled by it.
What I Do Now When Pete Returns
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I listen to him.
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I recognise that he’s a fearful part of me.
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I reassure him: “It’s okay, we’re safe.”
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I question the thoughts: “Is this actually true?”
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I respond with love and logic.
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Then I put him to one side—gently.
Daily Tools That Help Me
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Mantra Meditation
I start each morning with a mantra. I’ve done this for nearly a decade now. -
Positive Affirmations
Throughout the day I use affirmations like:
I am calm.
I am loved.
I am enough. -
Ongoing Coaching
Having support, insight, and accountability has been crucial in shifting my mindset.
What You Can Try
If you’re struggling with your own inner critic:
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Pick one positive affirmation and repeat it several times a day.
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Commit to doing this consistently for two weeks.
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Notice any shifts in your thoughts, feelings, or behaviours.
This is one of the core tools I use with clients. It’s helped many overcome trauma, anxiety, stress, and depression.
What’s the name of your inner critic—and what are your tips for dealing with it?
Let’s talk.
With love and light,
Ani x