I saw Ani as I was struggling to find peace and accepting myself as I am and letting life bring me its blessings. I felt like I had to do something to deserve to be alive or be loved. Loving myself was a lie I had to make myself belief. I would question what I am doing, why I am doing it, and whether any of what I enjoy means anything or is of value. During my coaching I discovered one issue to be the root cause which was that I denied myself the right to experience emotions the way I am meant to. I filtered my feelings through logic and chose not to express or live with them. Which I realized was forcing me to be in control of everything in my life. Controlling everything put so much pressure on my mind and body that I had to silence them to keep living as I should not as I feel like.
With coaching I was able to accept myself and come to terms with my feelings. After our first session, I became more aware of the sensations in my body and the signals that my intuition/soul is transmitting to me through the day. I understood that accepting and loving myself would help me find joy and to be grateful for all the things I am blessed with. I learnt that the darkness is created in my mind and life actually flows beautifully and harmlessly. I just have to tap into that beauty and remember that as long as I am breathing and alive there’s so much to be happy and grateful for. Through achieving this sort of state, I thought I would also be able to cultivate my passion not just in art but also in any activity I am busy with at the moment whether it’s studying, working or running.
One of the most important lessons that I took home with me every time we met was that life flows as it should, whether I control it or not. In a short time I would forget that had I not continued to meditate and teach myself to observe my thoughts and realize that I am getting involved in negative ideas and merciless self-criticism. I think daily meditation has really brought me the awareness that I needed about the voices in my head. I did not realize that this very simple idea that you kept telling me would actually help me overcome my problems, in fact realize that I do not have to overcome every problem. Pausing for a moment, breathing deeply, becoming aware of my body and reminding myself of all the positive things that I could be embracing about myself and all the blessings that life has granted me with has key role in my path to self-realization and self-acceptance.
One huge success from my coaching is that I actually feel satisfied about my life which was something I thought was impossible a month ago. I remember saying in our first meeting ‘we can never be satisfied’. You helped me uncover this limiting belief and I realized that I was right at the time because I felt like nothing could satisfy me because all my achievements and successes seemed bleak and meaningless. I am beginning to realize it’s not about my achievements but about how I see my achievements and my fail.